Rough Day

oh boy today was rough for me. i just felt really depressed. me and hubby aren't talking and its over something so stupid. i wanted to drive the other day and he said no so i got upset we barely said 2 words since yesterday. then every time i ask him to invite his mom over its always maybe or I'll ask and she never comes and that's REALLY starting to irritate the hell out of me!!! I'm to the point where if she cant come to where we live I'm not going to her house anymore not like I'm invited anyway he always goes and never ask me if i want to go. I'm just so frustrated with the whole thing.
went to the gym to get ready for my Miami trip and to try and clear my head and still ended up crying in the car on the way home.
just feels like i give so much of myself to people and i don't get any support in return. everyone runs to me for answers to there problems who the hell can i run to???i guess this blog maybe ill read it and help myself for a change.
hubby's just really annoying me right now show me something, if you see I'm upset give me a fucking hug damn is that too much to ask. we've known each other for 8 years he knows when something is bothering me. if I'm looking sad or not talking kiss me, hug me, something try to make it better. its easy to leave me alone and hope i get over it why not try and help me work through it show me some love.
I'm just so tired of the cold shoulder wheres that care a husband should show towards his wife. i don't think he's touched me in 2 days ok so he thinks I'm mad so we're just gonna act like strangers the whole day then sleep in the same bed and still have no contact that's ridiculous!!!
oh pray for me i hope tomorrow brings a better happier Tina Marie
just needed to get all that off my chest i guess now i can sleep.

My Re Appt.

so i had my first re appt. with our new doctor. i must say i love them!!! they were so hopeful and positive. they did alot of stuff that my first re didnt do. got a medical history on us both, blood pressure test for both, blood test for me and ultrasound to confirm pco and fibroid. i was all scheduled for my hsg(i know not fun, but whatever it takes) then i get a call telling me that tricare requires a referral so i had to make an appt with my pcm and they couldnt get me in until sept. 10 disappointed at the moment but just a little road block on the way to parenthood.

on another sad yet hopeful note. last month i began feeling early signs of pregnancy about 2 weeks before af was supposed to start i began cramping also nausea, tiredness and frequent trips to the bathroom. i wait, and wait. one day late i take a htp BFN im so confused next day still no af i go to planned parenthood for a blood test but when i got there they told me i needed an appt. so instead i take a urine test. faint positive are the results i got. i saw the line however faint it was it was def. there. so nurse tells me to schedule a blood test with my obgyn. feeling great and hopeful then 2 days after i start bleeding and a day after that af was full force. confused as of what may have happened called a nurse hotline and she told me it may have been a chemical pregnancy. i was sad then i thought i actually got pregnant on my own no drugs or anything just the old fashioned way just sad that it didnt end with us having a baby but our time will come soon enough. and although it made me sad it give me hope just knowing i can actually get pregnant!!!

im excited about starting treatment again now its the waiting game sept 10 lets go im ready to be a mommie!!!