ever just feel like it never gonna happen/praying

so this morning i received the bad news my beta was a BFN. sad thing is i expected it. i've been trying so long i just don't see it ever happening. its like no matter what i do it will all be invain.

just sat today and wondered is God trying to tell me something? iam i not meant to be a mother, am i not good enough. i've been praying for almost 2 years and its just like are you listening? can u hear me? will my prayer ever get answered? all i want is to raise a family with my husband is that too much to ask. i just want a baby. why hasn't it happened?
pcos, blocked left tube why did this happen to me. none of the women in my family have these problems. why me?

my mom keeps telling me to stay positive, trust God don't limit what u think God can do. but its getting so hard. i'm just beginning to feel so tired and worn out. listen to a sermon one day and the pastor said sometimes u have to fall on your face and cry out to God. well hear i am God I'm falling on my face crying out to you!!!! i need you, i need u to strengthen me, i need hope, i need a miracle!!!

sometimes i just wish i didnt want it so bad. but i do i can't get over it i want me and nick to be parents. i wanna be someone's mommie i want nick to be a dad. just seems like what i want doesn't matter.

please Lord i ask you right now in the name of Jesus bless my husband and i with a child, Lord bless my womb, my ovaries, my tubes, my eggs, my lining heal me lord from the inside bless this barren body of mine. Lord please bless my body to welcome new life, bless my heart, my spirit, my mind. please Lord! i ask you this on this night on june 29th at 1:10am. please Lord bless us with a child i believe it to be true, i believe u can do it. i believe you hear me when i cry thank lord in advance amen.